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What Social Anxiety Steals From You (and How God Restores It)

by Carl Demadema - April 30, 2026

Do we let social anxiety deprive us of opportunities and joy in our daily lives without realizing it? By focusing on God, we can overcome nervousness and embarrassment.

At the 2025 Feast of Tabernacles in Bacolod City, Philippines, two messages stood out to me as perfect bookends. The one at the beginning was about our attitude toward the Feast, and the other at the end was about having the best Feast ever.

I did have one of my best Feasts in memory, but I did find myself feeling robbed—not by any person, but by myself. There was something I had refused to confront my whole life because I felt justified in it. Upon reflection at the end of this Feast, I realized how much it had taken from me. I’m talking about social anxiety.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame anyone for being socially anxious. There are many valid reasons young people might find themselves shy or anxious in public.

But ask yourself: How many opportunities or genuine connections have you given up because of the voices swirling in your head or the intense feelings of nervousness, telling you to hold back?

How many opportunities to serve have you either avoided or not done to the best of your ability because you were afraid of what people might say or think about you?

God doesn’t want that for us. In fact, He has given us the tools to overcome it. We read in 2 Timothy 1:7 that “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

As I continue on my journey to find greater confidence in God, I want to share what I’m learning.

What social anxiety steals from you

In a godly context, there are four main things social anxiety can take from you:

Genuine connection.
Joy in fellowship.
Opportunities in service.
Confidence in your God-given identity and potential.

While doing research for this blog, I polled several young people in the Church of God about their experiences with this issue. Let’s explore these four points interspersed with personal anecdotes from other young people I communicated with.

1. Genuine connection

One young person shared that social anxiety has followed her for years, even around people she knows well. It often becomes overwhelming during Bible studies or group conversations, making it hard not to pull back and fade into the background rather than join in and participate.

In Hebrews 10:24 we read, “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works.” There can be no stirring each other up—no connection with your brethren—without honesty and openness.

Social anxiety hinders openness. In fact, the inner voice that stirs from social anxiety longs to make us hide. While controlling what we say and do is a wise thing, social anxiety doesn’t just stop us from voicing inappropriate thoughts or jokes. It convinces us that our quirks or harmless personality traits are undesirable.

The problem with that is you end up presenting a fake, rehearsed or performative version of yourself. That’s not actually you. That’s someone else, and no one can really connect with you if you are not yourself.

Use godly discernment as you speak and express yourself. As we read in Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”

2. Joy in fellowship

One member shared that he struggled deeply with social anxiety as a child. Even if he had good ideas, he kept quiet in group discussions, feeling out of place and unsure if he belonged. These worries often replayed in his mind, making it hard for him to enjoy moments of fellowship or feel at ease around others.

Being open doesn’t just allow for genuine connection; it also allows for enjoyment when you interact with brethren. Be honest with yourself: How many times have you been fellowshipping and, instead of enjoying the moment, found yourself distracted by the turning of your mental cogs?

You were thinking, How should I place my hands? Am I smiling too much? Is my laugh too loud? Before you knew it, the moment was over, and you headed home disappointed in yourself.

In our social conduct, if we can be more concerned about how God views us and less about how other people view us, we will have more fulfilling experiences.

God wants us to enjoy ourselves. He wants us to open up to each other. As long as we represent Him appropriately in our speech and actions, we can be confident and not worry about how we’re coming across in social situations.

3. Opportunities in service

One member shared that her social anxiety began when she noticed her friends seemed more favored by certain leaders. Instead of causing her to withdraw, it pushed her to serve more, but to be noticed. Eventually, she realized her motivation was rooted in self-consciousness and anxiety, not genuine care and concern for others.

This kind of shift in thinking and approach comes from the realization that the Church should be a body. We should not focus all our thoughts inwardly and keep ourselves separate from others. Anxiety feeds on separation and in that separation we cannot serve effectively.

Paul points this out in 1 Corinthians 12:25-26: “That there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.”

If we take that to heart, we won’t serve to be seen anymore, but out of care and concern for others.

Here’s an unfortunate truth that’s not easy to hear: social anxiety can breed a spirit of self-centeredness and selfishness. It’s usually not malicious, but if you are constantly worrying about how you look in public, it can lead you to avoid certain service opportunities.

Or you may serve without recognizing when someone else needs your help. As an analogy, if you are worried about how good your swimming technique looks, you may miss the fact that someone next to you is drowning.

4. Confidence in your God-given identity and potential

An older member reflected on how even Moses struggled with speaking, reminding us that fear in communication is not unusual. Recognizing God’s purpose for us (and praying, preparing and practicing for it) will give us the confidence that God can help us grow and accomplish His purpose for us.

In 1 Peter 2:9 we read, “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”

Even though we must be careful not to inflate our egos, it’s important to know how much God truly cares for you and me. None of us is perfect, but God has given each of us great potential and value as we are created in the image of God. Ultimately, it is not our talents that make us special, but the opportunity to become children of God.

Through God, we are made more than we could ever be without Him. When we follow His way of life and trust in Him, we become more than we could ever be alone.

You can have confidence in the special identity that God has given you. Your experiences, your trials and your talents have been given to you not to beat you down, but to strengthen you in being who God wants you to be.

We have a special role to play in God’s Church and ultimately His Kingdom. That is what can give us confidence in who we are, and we must never doubt ourselves for that.

In the end, hiding your light does not protect you. It may feel safer to listen to the anxious voice in your mind, to stay quiet, or to offer a watered-down version of yourself so others will approve. But that is not real safety, and it is not what God wants for you.

Yes, some people may misunderstand you, and you will still face awkward or embarrassing moments. However, the more you show up and participate, the more you will grow into someone that both God and you can be pleased with.

What matters most is that you live by God’s standards. As Ecclesiastes 12:13 says, “Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man’s all.”

When you carry that into your interactions, you can trust that God is pleased with you. With that confidence, the quiet whispers of social anxiety will begin to lose their power.

For more insights into the issues covered in this blog post, read the following articles: